PPE Journal: Carol Muse

Journal of Carol Muse, principal of John F. Kennedy Elementary School in Santa Ana, Calif.

Sunday, July 20

I came back to the room after the first session because I wanted to record my thoughts right away. I really enjoyed this session. It helped me to reflect on my "Oh no" incident. I agree with [Professor] Jerome Murphy, if you don't have one of these moments, then you are not really an administrator. How true!! Looking back, I know I cut my teeth and really grew up as an administrator from that experience...

I really see the need to let people voice their concerns and the need to have "buy-in" from the staff. You have to let them know what's happening; bring them along or they will make up something. That's exactly what I am doing now. I may not have the support and agreement from everyone, but they cannot say that they were not informed and did not have a chance to have their say.

It is so powerful to be with colleagues from across the country. I cannot wait until the smaller study sessions to really interact with people and hear their stories.

Monday, July 21

Today's session took me from the practice to the humble. I learned much from Irma Tyler-Wood [managing partner and founding member of ThoughtBridge]. Very practical ideas. The timeline activity she mentioned, I plan to do on my first buy back day; it's perfect to begin the conversation on vision and mission. I also liked her manner of presentation. She modeled what she presented. Her model of Organizational Change and Conflict Resolution offers all practical strategies that I will immediately use. Trust was another area that I never considered.... Her presentation gave me a way to watch and monitor my interactions with staff, parents, and community....

...Norman Kunc [founder, Axis Consultation]!!! I was so moved by reading his article. I was so saddened that schools can be become places of non-belonging until a student earns it. How insidious! What a disservice we do to children. I was so humbled by his presentation. My school is located near two housing projects that have rival gangs. I have always maintained the campus is an oasis, different from the streets.

I already have a couple of ideas: I am going to take the staff with me before school begins and visit the homes of incoming kindergarteners welcoming them and their families to Kennedy School. And on the first day of school, staff and I will line up at the front gate and greet students and families as they enter....

This has been an amazing experience. It is an intense week. The readings are long and thought provoking.

Before I came, I did not put too much emphasis on where I was going in speaking with people. Everyone else got excited but I downplayed it. Everyone thought it was such an honor. I did too, silently, to myself.

But now! After 30 years in education, here I am on the hallowed grounds of Harvard! I have been secretly jumping with joy and awe on the inside. I am here! It seems like such a crowning to my career! Imagine the history and the learning that has taken place here. Everywhere I turn, there is a little piece of history.

I have been watching the students. Do they know how special this place is? Do they understand? Or is it just another college campus to them? I don't know if I can afford to or if my district will ever let me do this again, but I am grateful and happy for the opportunity.

As an African-American female, daughter of educators, coming from a family of educators who taught at historical black colleges, I know I have made them proud! I cannot do anything else but take what I learn here and make it work on my campus.

Wednesday, July 23

Today, it was all about perceptions. I really had to fight to stay focused. I kept fading in and out and wondering what it was all about. When I couldn't get an answer, I just decided to let it be and it would come to me. And that is exactly what happened. During our small group dialogue, it hit me; it's all about perceptions.

Perceptions, how others see my site and me and how I see others (teachers, parents, and community).

I realize that I allow my perceptions to stop me from having those courageous conversations that need to happen. And I have been allowing my staff to see me in only one way. I need to be more intrusive, not in a pushy, authoritative manner, but as a partner, guide, [and] collaborator to getting the job done.

Clyde Cole, principal, Urban Assembly Academy for Business and Community Development, Brooklyn, N.Y.