A Tribute to Mary Grassa O'Neill

Since joining the HGSE faculty, first from 2004 to 2008, then for good in 2013, Senior Lecturer Mary Grassa O'Neill has been an integral part of the community in numerous and varied ways. In addition to her current role of senior lecturer, she has brought her expertise in school and district leadership to her roles as director of Professional Education at HGSE (then Programs in Professional Education); faculty director of the School Leadership Program; founding faculty member of the Doctor of Education Leadership (Ed.L.D.) Program; manager of Fieldwork, Internships, and Doctoral Fellowships across HGSE; and faculty lead for the HGSE/HBS Certificate in School Management and Leadership (CSML). Within all these roles, Grassa O'Neill, foremost, is a committed and generous mentor to her students and valued collaborator to her colleagues. On the occasion of her retirement from HGSE, we present the following comments, delivered as part of a career celebration in her honor. 

A Gift to Mary Grassa O'Neill

by Professor Deborah Jewell-Sherman

One of the things you may not know about our esteemed colleague, Mary Grassa O’Neill, is that she is a lover of the theater. So it is fitting that I present my tribute to Mary in Three Acts.

ACT 1: A SONG
Let me preface that which will soon ensue with profound apologies to both Learner & Lowe of Camelot fame and to you the listeners. For truly, an American Idol I will NEVER be!!! Nonetheless, here I go with Act I - my musical tribute titled “Mary!”

MARY (Paraphrased from "C’est Moi" from Camelot sung by Robert Goulet)

Harvard! Harvard! 
From Dorchester, she learned the name. 
Harvard! Harvard! 
To be a part became her aim!

She knew in her soul what they’d expect to see. 
And all that and more she would be.

A prof. at the School of Ed must be invincible; 
Have knowledge obscure but also quite refined. 
Be a scholar of some renown;
Humorous, but never a clown:
With reports factual and always in on time.  

To students she must be a fashion icon; 
Demure, neatly coiffed, and scarf always in place. 
But where in the world,
Was there in the world,
A prof. who could brighten every space?

Mary! Mary! I have to admit,
Though she would say, “Untrue!“
That teacher, who, these marvels could do,
Mary! Mary! It’s you!

She dazzled at the “B” school and here.
She’s simply the best by far.
Teaching docs, principals, or courses online,
One try and au revoir!

Mary! Mary! So classy and wise!
Scholarly with a compassionate sway!
And here she stands, beautiful to behold;
Exceptionally brave, amazingly bold;
To teach here on Appian Way!

To teach with great skill must be an easy task for her;
Speak clearly with force, yet also with great ease;
Talk school jargon flawlessly;
And love all principals to be;
While sending doc students to residencies.

Field work placements also must be lots of fun to her.
Grading papers and reading capstones her milieu!
But where, in the world, was there in the world?
A prof. so untouched and pure?

Mary! Mary! I have to disclose,
And I do share with pure glee,
That prof. in whom these qualities bloom,
Mary! Mary! It’s she!

From morning to dusk, she’s here with a grin. 
For students she is a thrill!
If she had taught poor Adam and Eve,
They’d be in Eden still!

Mary! Mary! The angels did send
To teach mere mortals below. 
And there she stands, as calm as a prayer!
A joy to behold, with sweet love to share. 
The very best colleague I know!
Mary!

ACT 2: A HAT

It ALL has been said. Mary is a rock star who has worn many different hats. But for her students, the most important hat Mary wore was as their teacher and mentor; their go-to person when they needed advice; their sounding board and clarifier of obtuse research; their moral compass when they were trying to find their way; and their source of solace during troubling times.

For them, Mary has always been a champion. She not only believed in every student’s potential; she also noticed it, nourished it, and protected it with a loving heart. And students she has touched — both here in the U.S. and those all around the globe — will ever remember her with love and gratitude.

ACT 3: A FLOWER

There are some people in this world who have sun inside them. These are rare people who change the way the world feels. Around them you become happier, lighter, and brighter and you laugh like you did as a child. You speak without fear of being judged and you show the truest version of yourself. Such people make everything feel like an adventure, and they turn ordinary days into unforgettable moments. Such a person is our Mary.

She is respected across the university and loved here on Appian Way — by custodians and deans, by fellow educators, by security teams, and by office staff and everyone in between — for the beautiful way she walks through the world.

She is not only what she’s accomplished, she’s also the person that exists when no one is watching. That quiet version of Mary, who sneaks candy into mailboxes at holiday time; anonymously gives money to ease the burden of a staff member’s loss; generously shares her office and her parking space; and gives rides home even when it is out of her way.

For David and the rest of my family, Mary has been a blessing beyond measure and a source of pure sunshine! For me, she has been my sister by another mother and my joy on Appian Way!

It has been said that in life one needs three friends: one to laugh with; one to cry with; and one to grow with. I have found all three in you, Mary. You’re the person who turned my Harvard ordinary moments into some of my best memories. And no matter where life takes us, you’ll always be a safe space and my forever Bestie. Because some friendships aren’t measured by time. They’re measured by how deeply you feel seen, understood, and loved.

And lastly Mary, I hope you can see yourself through all of our eyes. For if you could see the beauty, the brilliance, the love, and the joy that we see in you every day, you would know you are truly one of God’s most precious gifts and so worthy of all that has been said and done today!

For My Aunt, Mary Grassa O'Neill

By Katie Grassa, Ed.M.'11

Some of you may know that I was a teacher and a principal, though it feels strange to say those words because I still consider myself both a teacher and a principal. These roles have helped my aunt and me bond and have shaped our lives over the years.

Every time I come to Harvard, someone tells me they love my Aunt Mary and have known her for years. Well, I have had the privilege of knowing her since birth, so I want to share a few important things that you all may or may not know about her. She is an extraordinary baker. If you invite her over for dinner, I suggest requesting her chocolate chip cookies or lemon meringue pie, they are staples at every Grassa family gathering. She is an ice cream enthusiast, a caretaker, and a dedicated suit wearer. Yes, if you were wondering what she wears on weekends at home, it is still a full suit and a beautiful scarf, much like she wears at work.

She is also someone who writes text messages as though they are formal letters, complete with greeting, body, and salutation. Some may think that is old-fashioned; however, she has recently added emojis, especially the dancing ladies or a variety of colored hearts.

When I graduated from college, my aunt had just retired as superintendent of the Milton Public Schools. I was looking for a teaching job, and Milton offered me a first-grade teaching position. I was young and eager to forge my own path and did not want everyone to simply refer to me as “Mary’s niece,” so I opted for a job in the Boston Public Schools (BPS) instead. Little did I know that my aunt was even more well known in the Boston education scene than she was in Milton.

In August, I moved into my first classroom. I spent days preparing and quickly tried to befriend the school custodian. As soon as she saw my name, she asked if I was related to Miss Grassa who taught seventh-grade English at the Grover Cleveland School. I replied, “Yes, she is my aunt.” She went on to tell me how my aunt taught her not only how to read, but how to love reading and how to be a student. The good news for me was that my room shined like the top of the Chrysler Building every morning before school, and anytime I reached out to the custodian, she was glad to help me. Thank you for that, Auntie Mary.

Over the years in BPS, I have met so many of my aunt’s former students, staff members, and mentees, many of whom now fondly call her “Auntie Mary.”

My aunt began her leadership journey at a time when most school principals were men. Throughout my tenure in the Boston Public Schools, however, I have had countless people approach me to tell me that Mary helped them on their path to leadership. The majority of those people have been women, many of whom are leaders of color. They share the same story: Mary was the first person to tap them on the shoulder and tell them they were ready for leadership. She encouraged people to facilitate, to return to school, to become school leaders, and to believe in their own capacity. At the time she began doing this, it was rare. Her impact, however, has been profound and has helped pave the way for so many women leaders in education.

I have been granted a tremendous privilege: having an aunt and uncle who understood what it meant to be urban school educators. My Aunt Mary and her husband, my Uncle Thom, were both middle school principals in Boston at the same time. Being able to drive home from work and debrief the day with them sustained me through 12 years as a principal. While my aunt and uncle often offered differing advice or shared different stories of leadership, together they created a support network of people I not only trusted, but who loved and cared for me deeply. I am truly grateful for their support.

I was asked to speak today about my Aunt Mary’s contributions to the Harvard Graduate School of Education. I think the most important thing is that Mary understands that both practice and research are essential, and that neither can be successful without the other. Practitioners need research to grow, and researchers need practitioners to learn from. That collaboration ultimately serves the students who are educated every day, and my aunt lived this throughout her tenure here, both leading the School Leadership Program and the doctoral program, Ed.L.D.

I will close by saying that my aunt’s impact cannot truly be calculated. It includes the students she taught, the schools she led, the districts she served, Boston Public Schools, Milton Public Schools, the Archdiocese of Boston, the Principal Center, and world-class school leadership programs across Boston, including the Harvard Graduate School of Education and the Harvard Business School. Her students and influence reach far beyond Boston and Cambridge and have an impact around the world.

I would ask you to pause for a moment and think about that impact. It will be felt for decades to come. 

Career Highlights

2018–present: Faculty lead, HGSE and Harvard Business School (HBS) Certificate in School Management and Leadership (CSML)

2010: Education for Service Award, inaugural year, University of Massachusetts Boston

2009: Milton High School Library named the Mary Grassa O’Neill Library

2004–2008, 2013–present: Senior lecturer, Harvard Graduate School of Education; faculty member in Ed.L.D. Program, master's programs in education leadership, and professional education programs

2003: Milton Foundation for Education creates Mary Grassa O’Neill Leadership Award presented annually to an outstanding leader in the Town of Milton

1993–2003: Superintendent of schools, Milton Public Schools

1993: Boston Public Schools creates the Mary Grassa O’Neill Writing Award presented annually to excellent student writers

1989–1993: North Zone Superintendent, Boston Public Schools

1973–1982: Various roles, University of Massachusetts Boston; including associate professor, master teacher, project director

1968–1989: Various roles, Boston Public Schools; including principal, curriculum adviser, and teacher