Teacher Journals: Noah

9.4.03

As a scientist-turned-teacher in Harvard's MidCareer Math and Science Program, I continually ask myself if I have done the right thing by switching careers. The answer I always give myself is a resounding "Yes!" (At least so far!)

I've always had a passion for science, especially space exploration. My favorite book growing up was "Man and Space", part of a Life book series that my dad had when he was a kid and then shared with me. I used to build Lego models of spacecraft (star cruisers to be exact!), airplanes, battleships, and just about anything I imagined that was big, had the ability to fly, and/or move very fast. (I still build Lego models.) I appreciated then and appreciate now the aesthetic in machinery and marvel at the intricacies of the physical world. I look at a 747-400 jumbo jet taking off, and I notice how the wings bend upwards, mightily trying to lift a 400-ton beast into the air; and I think about the wingtip vortices that indicate the inequalities in air pressures that provide the lift needed to make the airplane fly.

But I haven't always had the same passion for teaching. When I was younger, teaching sounded like an easy profession to me. In college and grad school, I began to assist with college courses and teach in labs. I soon noticed that, when I met people who were teachers, I began to respect (and even envy) them for having "such a noble job." I thought, "Hey, maybe teaching is for me."

Everyone, it seemed, told me that, by virtue of my having been a practicing scientist, I would inherently bring something of value to my students. I've begun to realize that this is and isn't true. It's true because I do have passion for science as a subject as well as a wealth of knowledge of science and its applications to draw upon. I'm realizing, however, that, if I do not or cannot convey this knowledge in a way that is meaningful to my students, then I will have failed at my job.

In recent years, I took some classes that ranged from public school policy to second-language learning. Through these courses, I learned that teaching, and education, more generally, is a very gray field, filled with compromises and ambiguities. It seems that there is no one right answer in teaching. As a scientist, accepting this fact was a leap of faith for me. I had to become "confused" about the field so that I could struggle with it. And the more I struggle with it, the more I get comfortable with the notions of uncertainty and compromise. And the more I look forward to them as challenges.

Amidst the discoveries I made during my teaching in the Cambridge-Harvard Summer Academy was the fact that teaching can be a job that is far more rewarding than any other job. When a student of mine had an "Aha" moment, it made me giddy and excited. It boosted my confidence and gave me energy to finish the lesson. I also felt a kind of peacefulness, nurtured in knowing that I may have found the profession I am meant to be in.

This past summer I also realized that teaching is a fluid and reflective endeavor. I learned that, to be the best teacher I can be, I need to reflect about my hopes, my purposes, my expectations, and my assumptions. From that reflection, I am beginning to clarify the kind of teacher I want to become. I am beginning to realize that on-going reflection will keep me intellectually passionate and committed to improving my teaching throughout my career. I experienced terrific collegial support for reflection from my mentor teacher and co-teachers during the Summer Academy. I am hoping I find the same as I move through this year and when I take my first job.