Teacher Journals: "Rea Taylor"

September 2006

I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. As a child I used to force my friends to be my students while I pretended to be their teacher. Throughout my schooling, I would often sneak into the classroom and write on the chalkboard as if I was conducting a lesson. However, I didn't let my family know of this dream since I suspected they felt teaching would be a waste of my talents. Therefore, I convinced myself that I wanted to be a pediatrician - a profession that would still allow me to work with children and youth but was prestigious and came with financial security.

I studied biology and chemistry in college, planning on attending medical school upon graduation. However I was loathe to begin a seven-year professional track when I wasn't sure that medicine was the profession I wanted to pursue. Therefore, after graduation, I moved to Asia to spend a year teaching English to students ages two to seventeen years in the hopes of getting teaching out of my system so that I could return to the States and begin medical school. Fortunately, this plan failed. I experienced fulfillment helping students understand words and phrases that they previously couldn't comprehend as well as the reward of witnessing their personal growth. I felt compelled to continue teaching.

Growing up in the rural West, I was surrounded by peers and teachers who all resembled me. I lived in an extremely homogenous community in terms of race, class, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs. I never questioned my upper-middle class upbringing or felt I was privileged, especially as my mom worked full-time as a single parent. Yet, after living in New York City for several years, I soon realized that I was definitely a member of the privileged class and had been isolated in my upbringing in regards to social issues. Being exposed to the city made me want to teach in urban schools as I felt many students were underserved – their learning was either neglected or lacked academic challenge. I remember when I told my mom that I wanted to teach in an urban school, her first reaction was, “But these schools are so dangerous with all the drugs, gangs, and violence.” My mom isn't alone in this misconception; every school has its problems and those issues aren't unique to urban schools.

I applied to four certification programs: Brown, Tufts, Boston College and Harvard. I had always wanted to move to Boston and conveniently enough my boyfriend had just moved there so I applied to Boston area schools, Harvard being my first choice. I wasn't optimistic that I would be accepted to Harvard but spent months studying for my GRE's, working on my application and finding references to write powerful letters of recommendation. I wanted to be in a program with an urban focus that would teach me how to make my lessons culturally relevant and geared towards students with varied learning abilities. I also wanted to attend a program that had a great reputation as someday I plan on teaching internationally again.

Throughout the entire application process, I received information from the Admissions Office at Harvard as well as the Teacher Education Program. I was contacted by alumnae and current students and attended open houses and welcome events both on and off campus. I was extremely impressed with the recruiting efforts made by Harvard as well as the financial aid package I received. It was more generous than I had anticipated.

Once accepted, I received congratulatory cards in the mail and phone calls from current students. Everyone that I talked to was extremely honest and helpful in answering my questions about the Program and School. I felt that if Harvard, and more importantly the Graduate School of Education, invested this much effort recruiting me, then I was confident that I would receive the same personal attention as a graduate student. And I was right! Whenever I have a question, there are numerous program administrators and faculty that I can contact and I will receive a response almost immediately. Everyone seems to be looking out for my best interests. I feel very happy with my decision to attend Harvard University and am confident that my experience will be memorable and life-changing.

October 2006

Once I learned I had been accepted into the Program, I feared that it had been a mistake because I didn't feel smart enough to be a Harvard student. However the faculty reassured all of us that we deserved to be there as they were very deliberate about whom they accepted. Because of my passion for ecology and environmental science, I had enrolled to teach biology at the high school level. I was nervous, though, because I hadn't studied biology in almost seven years and had forgotten much of the basic knowledge I thought would be necessary to conduct thoughtful classes. However, my fellow interns made me feel at ease as everyone had similar concerns.
TEP began in June with the Summer Component. We taught summer school at the Cambridge-Harvard Summer Academy in the mornings and attended classes in the afternoons. The Summer Academy was intense in terms of jumping into teaching, planning lessons, and establishing a classroom environment, but it was a great experience. Because my previous teaching experience had been in Asia, where nearly all my students were from the same ethnic and social background, I was both nervous and anxious to teach in a more diverse setting.

On the first day of school, I looked around and realized that all seventeen of my students were of color. In contrast, my teaching partner, mentor teacher, and I were white. I found the obvious racial divide unsettling as I feel it's important for students to be exposed to teachers with varied racial, ethnic, social, sexual identities. I felt that I was perpetuating the status quo. I was self-conscious about being in a position of authority, representing the dominant class. I worried that my students would not feel comfortable relating to me.

As the summer progressed, however, this assumption proved false. I made a tremendous effort to get to know the students and their parents as well. I wanted them to have a successful summer and feel that they were learning how to think and act like scientists. My students were thoughtful and asked insightful questions. Classroom management wasn't the problem I'd thought it would be. Because there were three teachers in the class at all times, it was possible to give the students the personal attention that they needed as nearly all had failed biology the previous year.

While I felt confident in my ability to relate to students, I struggled with ways to develop effective lesson plans in a timely manner. I'm a perfectionist, and I tend to put considerable effort into developing a lesson that is challenging and entertaining as well as accessible to students with differing learning styles. Because I was striving to create the perfect lesson, I would stay up all hours to develop a plan that I could truly be proud of and could use in the future. I quickly learned, however, that there is no one right way to teach, and that I didn't need to reinvent the wheel. I talked with fellow teachers and interns about their lessons and researched lessons online. I later adapted these lessons and used them in the classroom so that I didn't have to start from scratch each time.

My mentor challenged many of my ideas about teaching styles, and I appreciated him for forcing me to think of alternative ways to reach my students. While I typically use inquiry-based lessons, demonstrations, and activities, my mentor demonstrated another approach. He used discussions, debates, and other activities to ask thought-provoking questions – as opposed to just being entertaining or making a lesson “fun.” This fall, I look forward to applying what I learned in the Summer Academy to my classroom so that my students will reap the benefits of what I have gained.

November 2006

It's been difficult since the fall semester began to take a step back and not be in control of the classroom like I was during the summer. My current mentor teaches two periods of College Prep (CP) biology. During the first class, there are approximately nineteen students, ten of whom have IEPs (Individualized Educational Plans) which describe their learning disabilities and the adaptations that should be made to teach them effectively. There are four teachers in the classroom – my mentor, a co-teacher, the special education teacher, and me. I'm struggling with ways to establish my position and have yet to teach an entire lesson in this class. I feel that because I only attend my school twice a week now, my students do not see me as a having the same authority as a teacher. During the second class however, which has twelve students, I am very involved and often teach the entire lesson. I feel much more comfortable in this class since I have established myself as the co-teacher from the beginning of the semester.

Because of the Program's “ramping-up” system, in which the amount of time that I teach increases over the semester, I have tried to take advantage of observing other classrooms. I feel that this experience is invaluable and provides me with an opportunity to obtain ideas for my lessons as well as to rethink my teaching and classroom management style. I have found observations extremely helpful as I am constantly questioning the purpose of school, my role as a teacher, and what I want my students to learn and take away from my class. The reflection papers I write each week have also been beneficial in forming my ideas, and feedback helps me understand how I could have addressed situations differently.

I've spoken with teachers about their teaching styles, and I've been surprised to find that many are not as reflective as I would have expected. While teachers want their students to excel, I feel many don't want to put forth the effort or are unsure of how to best reach them. Often I hear teachers say, “My students just won't do their work or just don't try.” Instead of thinking of reasons why these students aren't doing their work, several teachers I've spoken with fail to take personal responsibility for their students' performance. The Teacher Education Program has encouraged me to be reflective in my teaching and to constantly adapt my lessons so they are accessible to students of different backgrounds and learning styles. Initially I felt that I was learning too much theory behind teaching, but I am now realizing that I need pedagogical background to understand how to best serve my students.

I am also beginning to realize that, while I may never find the perfect lesson or approach, being reflective will allow me to adapt to the needs of my students. Currently, I am struggling with ways in which to build community in my classroom as well as to create a safe learning environment through effective classroom management. I want my lessons to be culturally relevant as well as challenging and engaging. I hope that, with more experience teaching and feedback from my mentor, advisor, and peers, I will grow in the areas in which I need improvement to be the best teacher I can be.

December 2006

I can't wait to have my own classroom! I've heard numerous times that student teaching is more difficult than having your own classroom. I have been thinking about the kind of classroom I want to run. As a teacher, I will be able to establish the culture of the classroom by setting guidelines and rules and being consistent in enforcing them. I will also set high expectations for students and encourage them to reach those goals. I am beginning to realize how important it is to establish a classroom structure at the beginning of the semester and to take the time to familiarize students with my routines and class management practices. I am also beginning to understand that by being consistent in my rules, I will prevent or decrease discipline issues later on.

I've spent considerable time thinking about how I would like my class structured. There are three rules I feel are non-negotiable at all times: being on time, being prepared, and being respectful. While these goals may seem vague, I will discuss with my students what these mean to me and ask them what they mean to them so that they are involved in establishing expectations for the class culture. I will ask them to offer suggestions for any rules that they feel are important in order to establish community. I want my students to feel safe in expressing their opinions and comfortable participating in class individually as well as in groups. I also want students to take pride in their differences and therefore I will attempt to make the class culturally relevant.

I think it's extremely important to develop relationships with students by getting to know their lives, supporting them in their interests, providing individual academic help, and being available as a resource when they need somewhere to turn. First and foremost, however, I will be their biology teacher and will set high standards, pushing them to think critically like scientists, asking inquisitive and exploratory questions. I will keep them continually informed on their performance in the class by giving frequent progress reports and allowing them an opportunity to revise work and finish uncompleted assignments.

During the first week, I will also contact the students' parents or guardians. I will introduce myself and then remain in communication with them throughout the semester, notifying them of their children's progress as well as praising their children when deserved. By making an effort to get to know the parents, I hope that my students will feel that I am invested in them as people and that I want them to succeed both in and out of the classroom. These are my hopes. Time will tell.